[EP46] The Masks We Wear & The Shadow We Get To Integrate | Alex Cargill

In this episode I’m joined by Alex Cargill. Alex is one of the incredible men that I’ve met at theMENtorship.World calls that I attend on Monday night. He always stood out to me partly because of his “manly” voice and presence…but also because of his thoughtful words and willingness to lean in and speak from his heart.

Alex is the Founder of Bear Wolf Integrative. He is committed to supporting other men that have grown up with the story that “real men don’t cry” to shed their masks, embrace their truth and bring light to their dark shadow. This one is for all the “manly” men out there that are ready to be the father, husband and leader they know they are meant to be!

Episode Topics

5:03 | How did Alex’s upbringing shape him into the man he is today
9:56 | The journey that had Alex discover “men’s” work
16:53 | Why do men have such a tough time asking for help?
20:56 | Why is “construction site talk” fun (and part of the problem)
23:45 | How can we be grateful for everything in our life (even the dark shit)
30:21 | The moment Alex got his dream job in the show business world
37:34 | When we remove the resistance everything opens up for us
41:54 | Trevor questions Alex about his commitment to lean into his purpose
46:32 | Trevor walks Alex through a visualization of “why his vision matters to him”

Episode Quotes

“I was going to change our family story. I grew up in an environment where being uncomfortable around money was the place that I was comfortable. It took a lot to get out of that mindset.” – Alex Cargill

“I was this stereotypical man’s man. I had the truck, the money, the wife…and it just went f*ckin sideways. All I wanted to do was live into my passions. But, I had no idea how to achieve them.” – Alex Cargill

“When I started getting into things where I was deeper in trouble, I would emotionally disconnect. I would use things to numb myself so that I wouldn’t actually be feeling those problems or pain. The energy got stuck inside me. It stopped me from being able to move forward.” – Alex Cargill

“I still remember my Dad saying – that’s the Turnbull way…you get your stuff through debt financing. The bank helps you pay for it. That stuck with me for a long time. I always thought…is that how it’ll always be? Am I always going to be owing taxes to the government, am I always going to have debts and be behind on payments? I didn’t break thru on that until 4 years ago.” – Trevor Turnbull“It’s ok to be hurt, it’s ok to be vulnerable, it’s ok to express yourself, it’s ok to let those f*uckin tears roll. That’s being a man. Having the emotional intelligence to be able to take care of your emotions insider is how you are stronger for the outside world.” – Alex Cargill